Hands up if you’re over 45 and are having the best sex EVER? And hands up if you’re not (but you wouldn’t mind…)

Hands up if you’re over 45 and are having the best sex EVER? And hands up if you’re not (but you wouldn’t mind…) here’s how

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One of the best things about becoming older, is that fabulous confidence/lack of care as to what anyone thinks. By now, you know what you like in the bedroom. You know what you don’t like, and you love what you do like.

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It’s a known fact that women our age do seriously enjoy sex. We’ve lost our inhibitions that we may have had in our earlies, we’ve maybe worked out a few fave moves and we are less worried about what we’re doing wrong or what we are doing right. 

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So why aren’t we simply just doing it? 

Because we can’t find the right person to do it with.

Or maybe you’ve given up even thinking about it, as it’s either been unattainable, or so unenjoyable that you’re simply not interested. And that department is now closed. But you do still fancy some companionship.

Don’t worry you are not the only one.

So if you want sex with no strings; or sex with some strings; or just some strings and no sex, you need to let someone know. You need to find him, or he needs to be able to find you.

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Mandatory Credit: Photo by ITV / Rex USA ( 666175AR ) Helen Mirren in ‘Prime Suspect VII’ – 2006 ITV Archive

The thought of internet dating freaks loads of people out. Its time to get over that. Its okay. Its just the way it is these days; if you can’t beat it, join it. It’s easier to date now than it ever has been. There are so many sites that for them to be successful, they have to make them really quite niche, which should (in theory) make it easier for you to find what you’re looking for.

Who are you? And what do you want?

If you’re over 45, then you’re classified as mature (regardless of how childish you are).

“Mature Dating” sounds so very grown-up, sensible and safe: but is it though? Obviously there are always going to be the less than wholesome blokes lurking around in any given place, so be smart about where you meet up and don’t give out your address until you feel secure enough to. But that doesn’t mean its anymore dangerous than simply walking out your front door. And of course, there are some good guys too. The same has to be said for us women, some of us are fab and some of us can be pretty scary. No one is perfect, so don’t seek perfection, it’ll end in tears. But do be realistic, don’t lie about your age, don’t upload an overly retouched photo of yourself, and don’t be shy.

Get date-ready and get out there.

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So if you’re looking for companionship, that may well lead onto the best sex of your life (there’s always hope), or if you’re just looking for straight forward companionship then rather than looking on sites that have every testosterone-fuelled 24-40 year old on there, look on sites that are closer to home and closer to what you want. Here’s where ‘Mature Dating‘ can and does help.

Don’t shy away from sites that are trying to tell you in their domain names EXACTLY what you can expect, even if they do sound a little dull or dour.

Try one of these: Older dating Cornwall Dating Agency Aberdeen Dating Agency Edinburgh Dating Agency Cardiff Dating Agency

Or if you just want to have sex and nothing else, (not even a conversation), then you can go to Adult dating

Another great (and FREE) site for anyone ready to get out there and have some companionship…and maybe more, is We love dates

The rules: be safe, be yourself, be honest and DON’T talk about your past relationship. Its boring. Move on. Enjoy girls!

Rule number 3: Find your sexy (yes, it’s up to you)

It starts with the undies, just because no one can see them doesn’t mean they’re not important, your bottoms shouldn’t be on the bottom of the list, and keep your tits at the top. Flirt with yourself first, and ditch those awful knicks.

Love your undies, cause that’s where it all starts. When did you last buy yourself a new  crossover, or underwired; triangle, balconette, halterneck, backless, strapless, Queen size, king-size; push-up, or squash-down; T-back, or light n lacy; comfy but sassy bra? And matching knickers? Briefs? G-string? Spanks? Pants? Anything?

WELL, WHY THE HECK NOT?

Modelling bras, (whilst telling myself ‘it’s just like wearing a bikini on a beach’), for a shoot for The Daily Mail…oddly.. all about bras…

 

Finding the right bra

So girls. Rule number 3: find your sexy.

It starts with the undies, just because no one can see them doesn’t mean they’re not important, your bottoms shouldn’t be on the bottom of the list, and keep your tits at the top. Flirt with yourself first, and ditch those awful knicks.

I don’t care if you’re happily single, unhappily married or vice versa; unhappy with your entire image, or all right with some bits of your body – YOUR BODY, the one you’ve had for ages now, the one that’s been with you through thick and thin – you’ve gotta love it. This body of yours is not going anywhere, so you’d better start fully appreciating ALL of it from now on in. Don’t “hate my feet” or “despise my tummy” or insult your tits, “they’re just empty tea-bags,” “pendulous and baggy”; or any other part of you, “my arse is keeping my ankles warm”, “the dimples on my knees have dimples”,”I have no neck”, “I’m just so scrawny” etc.

STOP IT. 

ENOUGH.

Your imperfections are what make you perfect. So love all of them, despite size, shape – lumpy and bumpy; skinny or bony; whatever non-conformist or haphazardly put together person you feel you are, you gotta love it

 

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Happy with who I am

BLESS THIS MESS T-Shirt

You’re unique and wonderful, no mater how far along the spectrum you feel you’re away from the standard ‘expected’ sizes and assets, I think you are beautiful. Most of you reading this are over 45, you’ve therefore been here long enough to recognise that this is it. This is what you’ve got. There’s no point in hating it; or hating any little, bad or big, bits of it.

(I know & love that there are many of you out there who are already fully loving and appreciating your bodies for what they are: this isn’t really an article for you).

But for those of us who may have lost a bit of lust with ourselves…well, we need to rediscover and

find our sexy.

I’m not saying this in order for you to attract another – that may well be a by-product – but it all starts with you. The nurturing ‘my sexy’ is an easy thing to forget to do, especially as we get older, while we watch bits of our bodies slide towards the ground and other bits flourish outwards at a seemingly unstoppable rate.

No! Us fabulous 50s (& beyond) have all the more reason to make a proper conscientious effort to go buy some underwear that we love and feel fantastic in. You’re never too old to do this. When I make the effort (& it is indeed an effort) to wear lovely matching bra and knickers, I feel extra good.

I know my liddle secret.

Be in control with style control wear

It doesn’t matter if no one ever knows that on any particular day, I wore a stunning bra n’ knicks, because I got all the benefit myself. I do obviously appreciate that if I got run over… well, you know….same goes for hot date/non-private fitting rooms/wedding night/fire alarm drill at the gym etc.

But brilliant bras aren’t cheap. I HATE how much the really lovely ones cost. How dare they? For that tiny amount of triangle and elastic? Seriously? It’s the tailoring, I tell myself. Its the fit. Its the harmonious symphony of breast meeting brassiere. The prices are quite painful…but it’s okay, I say, buying yourself a beautiful bra tells you that you are worth it, every penny – which you absolutely are. I bought a few gorgeous bras and knicks, from the @ellemacpherson range, they still make me feel a million dollars, every time I wear them….but….shit, that was over 6 years ago now…..I need to take my own advice here…think I’ve def had my money’s worth now…time to refresh…

Elle gets it right….check this little puppy out, imagine wearing this bra whilst you’re walking around Sainsbury’s, your supermarket shopping would be so much more fun, just quietly inwardly knowing what you were wearing underneath….sooooo gorgeous beautiful bra

Another fabulous range is Intimissimi – lovely and reasonably affordable range…

But equally going to your nearest Primark or New Look and getting yourself a few new cheaper undies does the trick just as well – the result just doesn’t last as long (maybe one wash….5 if you’re lucky LOL) – but you still get a result. You know that you’ve got new underwear on and, oh boy, does that feel luxurious! Or am I the only one that doesn’t buy new underwear very often?? Oh lord….

I totally understand that this ‘loving your body’ biz, is no easy feat to achieve. After all, most of us, have spent a lifetime habitually hating at least one thing about ourselves. Yes, my hands could be a lot prettier; my skin a lot clearer, my waist a touch tauter etc etc, but they’re not, and they never will be what I see as perfect.

Accept what you have. What if I lost my hand in an accident? How much would I love it then? As a child, did you ever think to yourself, “what if I died? Then they’d be sorry!“? I have to admit, I’ve cried at my own imagined funeral a few times. Pathetic, I know. But true. Finally grew out of that one when I was about 16, thank god…although I admit, I’ve got my funeral music planned…so the funeral thoughts have never really totally gone away… I digress. Forget what others may think at your funeral! Think about how you feel now. If you’re feeling hot and gorgeous inside, then no one can take that away from you. Others may well also get the benefit of super sexy you, but YOU will get it the most.

So come on girls….I see you baby, shaking that arse…

 

Sort Yer Life Out; Becoming 50.

Come on girls, let’s re-brand 50, bugger all those preconceived, old fashioned opinions of what 50 is… 50 can and should be great

Rule number one: Stop moaning.

Hello. I’m 50. And proud. I’m currently entering that phase in life where people say it’s ‘the best years’ of their life. Are they lying? Whats so great about your womb slowly dying, while your waist expands and your wrinkles get deeper and your hair thinner? Whats so good about that? Nothing. But hey, I’m alive. I’ve made it this far. I’ve wished that other people (mainly just my mother) had told me a load of shit when I was 20, but had I then known that golden, beautiful youth is a commodity that can never be revisited, would I have done things differently? I think not. No one can tell you. So I am going to endeavour to help those who in some way or other want to sort their lives out. And I want to begin with those of you that have a problem with turning the dreaded FIVE OHHH.

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no make up, no hair do, just me

Coming out: I’m 50, deal with it.

Back in 1972, I knew what age I’d be in the dreaded 1984. The year 1984, I’d read, was a whole frightening world, borne out of George Orwell’s prophetic novel. As we know he was incredibly insightful, as it wasn’t long before Big Brother did arrive, with all his glorious CCTV. But 1984 was a subtle beginning of the actual truth of what we’re left with now. NOTHING escapes the camera. NOT. ONE. THING. No matter how we might hate it. We can deny it, or accept it: either way we film it. Our looks and the value of our looks has raised considerably, because anyone and everyone can see them, good or bad, all over the world at the press of a button. And that fact alone applies more pressure to us ladies entering the grand old decade of 50. I’d never given ANY thought to what a woman might feel like when she turned 50. Let alone ME. I was never going to do it. I would never EVER do it. After all, this was me – Frankie. I honestly, truly, have NEVER imagined myself as OLD. And doesn’t 50 = OLD?

As a child, I had worked out I’d be 35 when we entered the millennium. That seemed ancient. Thirty-five was grown up. Aside from naively assuming that aged 35, your life was a happy marriage, a nice house and kids; I’d imagined the millennium to be so futuristic; it would be an era when everyone wore metallic everything; silver bras, gold shoes and bronze masscara. I looked at 2000 with both trepidation and awe. It felt so incredibly far away – yet it came and went as fast as they all do. And being 35 didn’t feel half as old as I’d thought. Aged 35, you can still kid yourself to certain degree that you’re actually young. Young: what a lovely round, collagen rich, bouncy hair word.

The year however that I couldn’t even be bothered to try to imagine, let alone accept, which, as a matter of fact, came up pretty damned quick, was the year 2016. Which was the turning 50 year. It’s known to be when a woman officially become stale. She’s used goods. No longer fertile: a barren wench, a dried up hag. Grey hair. Saggy and dry everything. Plus menopausal women are known to hate EVERYONE; often including themselves. You’d think that would be a pretty monumental time in any person’s life…let alone a woman’s….yet no one tells you – at least they didn’t me.

The menopause is the dark secret. It’s embarrassing because it’s coupled with turning 50, aka officially going over the hill. There’s no more telling yourself you’re not yet middle-aged. Middle-aged has been and gone. You’re now entering the osteoarthritis phase. Free bus passes are around that corner. Tinnitus. Funerals/free drinks and a bit of a social every month…you actually know a few people who have died, by the time you’re 50. You’re robbed of pretending you’re young, the minute they all start popping off.

But I say NO. No to all of it. I am re-branding 50. The Golden Years. Why let yourself ‘go’. Go where? Down that hill? Why? Laziness? Conforming to what society has always expected us to do – i.e. get fatter, grumpier and less sexy? No thank you. We live longer. I don’t want to be ‘old’ for possibly as long as 50 years, no thanks. I want to ride my bike, dance and laugh just like I always have done. (although to be honest, I’m not much of a bike rider, never have been, I just enjoy the odd cycle).

So how do we do it girls?

We find that girl; that girl who is deep within us and that has been there forever. We let her out again. We forget what we’re supposed to be, how we are supposed to behave and set free that young and optimistic beautiful thing that we all were once upon a time.

We also stand tall, and I mean stand tall. I know its more effort to stand or sit up straight, now that we are older and more worn down, but make the effort. Good posture takes 10 years off you and will help to keep/get that body toned. No one has great posture the whole time naturally, we have to be self-conscious about it. We have to remind ourselves to suck in that belly, push back those shoulders and stick those tits out.

We move about. We eat healthily and drink plenty of water.

But most importantly we drop the RESENTMENT. Resentment is the worst thing in the world. If you don’t like it then don’t do it. You’re 50. Change it. Don’t walk around mealy-mouthed and angry. You’re not doing yourself any favors. You need to slap yourself in the face and work out what the hell you’re feeling so bitter and twisted about. Don’t hate yourself for whatever has happened in the past. Don’t hate others for whatever they’ve done to you in the past. Look forward. Look at you now. Who are you? Who do you want to be? Don’t be sad or scared of growing older. What are the choices? You can either grow older or you can die. So if you’re choosing to grow older, then do it with a smile on your face and a spring in your stride. Life is just as beautiful as the leaves blowing in the wind and the ducklings in the river. Try something new….I’m trying to write my first blog… tech stuff is daunting, so it may be a bit sketchy….but we gotta try…

I will be posting more tips in life, parenting, fashion, health and beauty. Ask me any question, give me your worries and I will do my best to help you sort yer life out girls.