Having a ‘down’ day? Feel useless? Depressed? Feel like hiding, crying, going back to bed….? Don’t worry you’re not alone, feeling better is a walk in the park.

pexels-photo-631986.jpegWomen are known to be ‘multi-taskers’. Thats a fairly big title to live up to. What if your starter motor fails one day? And all of your oomph has morphed into a bleurgh? You know what you should be doing, but you simply cannot get beyond staring into your empty mug of coffee. Having a duvet day is just not allowed. Resting and blobbing around eating chocolate and other rubbish is all you want to do, but you know its just PLAIN WRONG, so your blobbing, flopping, wrong day is severely tarnished with guilt and self-hatred; you’re a failure, you’re useless, you’re ugly, you’re fat…. you’re blah blah blurgh.

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Because women are natural carers, nurturers and people-pleasers – more so than men – we often set ourselves much higher standards, and when we undertake to do what may previously been considered a man’s job, we feel we have to do it way better, just to prove ourselves. So we’re extra thorough. We’re more diligent. We’re bloody killing ourselves.

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Of course it will eventually get to us. So how do we drag ourselves out of this exhausted rut? Other than reaching for the gin, chocolate, shopping, or all of them? From the age of 45 onwards we have the added struggle of free-wheeling, outta control hormones; many of us have children leaving the nest; some of us also have failed marriages and therefore sudden single-dom to also deal with.

It’s a fight ladies. It’s a fight with the truth. You have to look at your truth.

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Make time to both reflect on your achievements, and to look forward to your ambitions. Maybe the last thing you want is to think about is you. Don’t be scared, this is her – The Long Forgotten YOU. Say hello to her and make her happy.

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Who are you? What do you love to do? What makes you tick? The first thing you should do is take care of your health, both mentally and physically. The two are intrinsically intertwined and when you allow yourself to succumb to chocolate and gin, you will pay – the short-lived pleasures as the toxins engulf your senses are swiftly followed with the downers, the results of such indulgences.

Try and take yourself to a higher plane. Yoga is incredibly good for this. Not only does it encourage you to stretch and strengthen, it also encourages breathing correctly and getting into meditative state. Once in this place, devoid of angst, devoid of self-loathing, you will find that part of you that you somehow lost along the way. If yoga isn’t for you, then simple long walks in amongst nature can also remind you of your earth, your grounding and what a flowering blossom your life continues to be, despite what it may seem to be to you right now. Mindfulness is a big trend and not without reason.

Mindfulness: Getting Started

pexels-photo-906106.jpegFor the more financially blessed amongst us, you can’t do better than to indulge yourself at a retreat or a spa for a few days – you will come back a renewed and stronger person.

Vogue Spa Guide – Best Spa Breaks in UK 2018

Drink plenty of water. Eat plenty of greens. It’s so basic. It’s so obvious, but we all forget these things from time to time when we become awash with what seems like a ton of losses at once. Being alone with your thoughts can initially be terrifying, having time to reflect can make you tearful, but actually once you get there and you realise what life still has to offer you, and indeed, what you have to offer it, then you can being to feel worthwhile, complete and happy once more. Your happiness is solely up to you. Find your inner peace, it’s somewhere in there, you may have to search for a while, you may have to shake off a lot of negative feelings, but start with being proud of what you’ve achieved so far. I am sure its quite a lot.

 

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My TOP, VERY BEST FINDS this year so far…are: Sri Lanka (yeh, lucky me, or is it just being 50+, & therefore a more urgent traveller?);a seemingly simple face cloth and finally, an incredible leg transformation kit.

I’ve discovered that once you hit 50, you are more aware of time running out, which, in a way, is a really good thing, as not only do you throw caution to the wind and do things like book an amazing holiday to Sri Lanka, (where I discovered all kinds of nature’s wonders, including natural beauty products, this will be in a future post, as there is way too much to tell you), but you also try your hardest to get the things you really like and want. So when something “wows” me, I want to share it, so if you can’t get to Sri Lanka just yet, you may well at least be able to get the following gems into your beauty regime

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I’ve discovered that once you hit 50, you are more aware of time running out, which, in a way, is a really good thing, as not only do you throw caution to the wind and do things like book an amazing holiday to Sri Lanka, (where I discovered all kinds of nature’s wonders, including natural beauty products, this will be in a future post, as there is way too much to tell you), but you also try your hardest to get the things you really like and want. So when something “wows” me, I want to share it, so if you can’t get to Sri Lanka just yet, you may well at least be able to get the following gems into your beauty regime.

THE WIPE OUT MICROFIBRE FACE CLOTH: I’ve been lucky enough to do a lot of ‘beauty’ modelling for QVC UK, (a tv shopping channel), where I get to demonstrate a considerable amount of products. Whilst doing these demos, I obviously have to use the very products we are selling; so I get very good, real experiences of each and every one. Not many things really make me sit up and shout “wow”, but this face cloth made me thoroughly “wow”, and “wow” very aloud. I LOVE THIS SIMPLE FLANNEL. It literally GRABS tight onto every single bit of dirt, grime and make up; one that leaves your face INCREDIBLY clean and lovely, but without taking off an extra layer of skin. It’s much more brilliant than any normal flannel could ever even hope to be. Even with eye make up – this flannel removes it easily, with just water and nothing else. In my opinion, The Wipe Out , is The Face Cloth God: in a league of its own.

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My beautiful friend Susie and I (& our legs) many years ago

THE GAME CHANGING LEG COLLECTION: Again I have QVC to thank for introducing me to this next set of products. All by Margaret Dabbs. A podiatrist; a foot guru; a string of salons’ owner; an innovator and a general just amazing person. Some of you may well have experienced the luxury of a treatment at one of her many clinics. (London, Dubai, Doha, Gloucester..), others will have, like me, discovered her through QVC; and, for those of you who have not yet had the pleasure, I am delighted to introduce her (& her wonderful wares). She is mainly known for her incredible foot treatments, of which I myself am an avid fan (Foot Hygiene Cream) and use many of her other products, on a regular basis. She also has developed great products for the hands and nails, but her latest and biggest  ‘wow’, is a set of ENCROYABLE treatments for the legs.

I already do an all over body scrub on, almost, a daily basis. So that’s quite a lot. Plus I moisturise religiously après shower, with either pure coconut oil, SBC Collagen Gel, Flora Mare Body Lotion or Vaseline Intensive Care Body lotion, so I thought I was already doing my best. Little did I know. My leg-skin was in for a massive treat. We had under six minutes to demonstrate a whole leg treatment kit – beginning with an uplifting and thorough scrub; rinsing that off; then applying the (in my case) YELLOW (or you can chose BLACK) mask treatment all over all of the legs, then waiting 12 minutes (we had, at the most, 3mins) then rinsing that off; and finally moisturising with the firming leg serum. My legs looked like they’d been photoshopped. The skin was visibly much, much smoother and silkier, as did it feel. The thread veins seemed to have considerably diminished and there were no visible dry patches. It was literally incredible. I was gob-smacked. And that was only after a mere six minutes. What would happen after 12? I had to buy the kit and believe me, I have not been disappointed. My legs look ten years younger; healthier, silkier and generally just a lot, lot nicer. Plus they feel better, and my circulation has definitely improved. Genius products. Get your legs summer ready; impress yourself. Its a fabulous experience. I really want to literally SHOUT about this set, it is THAT AMAZING. (Unless your legs are already in mint, tippety-top condition, then I guess you wouldn’t notice that much of a dramatic change; but for all the rest of us…do NOT hold back).

 

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Susie, with her lovely legs

 

 

What’s happened to my waist?! Time to sort yer waist out – let’s Get Waisted

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Did Father Christmas aka Santa give you more than you wanted this year? Has your spare tyre gone a little cray-cray? If you’re over 45 then your middle will be attempting to expand, regardless of the festive season, owing to those extreme hormonals doing their wild circus acts indoors. Add that to your alcohol intake (menopausal women are the biggest culprits) being higher than it was in your earlies* (see reference below) and your flab is having a party, possibly even complete with a bouncy castle, blobbing around where your waist used to be.

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It’s not pretty, it’s not clever and it’s certainly not healthy.

So what are you going to do about it?

Sadly, it’s not easy to shift. But it is possible. And the earlier you tackle it, the better you will feel. It’s that simple. It’s not difficult, if you can stay focussed on the end goal, and trust that these small changes will ALL help find that waist again.

 

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1. It’s glaringly obvious, but stop eating so much.

Especially so much rubbish. Why put things into your mouth that aren’t going to achieve anything? I know, I know – because they taste nice and you’re craving them and and and….BUT, the more you eat processed meats for example which are full of salt (SALT both dehydrating and a big contributor to high blood pressure, strokes, heart disease, osteoporosis, stomach cancer, OBESITY, vascular dementia, diabetes, water retention….need I go on?) the more you will want. Salt is evil and addictive.

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Get rid of it. You’ll have to exercise some will power initially – avoid processed foods; stop adding salt to your fresh food – and you will soon find that your cravings for salt will diminish: thus freeing up your will power to use in another department.

Sugar is equally as bad and in foods that you wouldn’t necessarily have thought of. Read this for more info.

Alcohol is full of sugar  so do try and cut back there too, if you can.

 

Smoothies are also full of sugar if they’re too heavy with the fruit – be wary of these deceptive ‘health’ drinks.

Reduce your portion sizes. The healthier your diet, the easier this will be, as ’empty calories’, do more damage than good; they play havoc with your sugar levels, making you feel hungrier than before, within a very short space of time.

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I highly recommend snacking on pumpkin seeds, as they stave off your hunger; they contain zinc which helps regulate your insulin levels, (part of what controls your hunger levels); they help decrease blood pressure, hot flashes, joint pains and other menopausal symptoms. 9 Amazing Benefits of Pumpkin Seeds

 

2. Stand up straight, hold it in and walk tall

Actually don’t just walk tall, WALK MORE. If you’re not doing more than 2000 steps a day, then up your step count somehow, this will definitely make a difference. Most phones have a pedometer on them somewhere; find it, or download a health app and start checking your step count. This will encourage you to walk more.

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Every time you are walking, try to be conscious of your posture. Walk as tall as you can, remembering to push your shoulders down and back, and to hold your head high. Pull your tummy button in to meet your spine as often as you can remember to do so. Try not to slouch when you’re at your desk or at the dining table. The more often you pull yourself in, whether standing, walking or sitting, the closer you’re getting to burning calories and redefining that waist. All without going to the gym.

3. Drink more water.

waterIt might sound so dumb to some of you, but yes, it does make a big difference. The more water you drink, the more hydrated you are and the better EVERYTHING works – including your circulation which is imperative for flushing out toxins and keeping the systems running smoothly.

 

Try drinking a large glass every time you get peckish, it will allay the hunger whilst also reminding you to drink more water. You’ll see an improvement in your skin as well.

4. Stretch and do some weights

I know this is now entering territory that some of you won’t want to go to, but if you can do these things too, then you’ll achieve your goal quicker. Getting into shape isn’t all about cardiovascular exercise. Menopausal women in particular should be doing some weights. Not only are weights one of the best things for toning the stomach, but they are crucial to keeping our bones strong which is imperative to avoid osteoporosis – an increasing problem in women aged 45+.

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If you can’t get to a gym then start doing the plank – only one to two minutes every day – you’ll soon see the benefits.

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Stretching is also great for helping the stomach recoil and get firmer. Yoga and pilates are brilliant for this. Find a class near you, it may help with your emotional well being too.

If you can’t implement all four of these tummy-changing suggestions, then at least try to implement one and you’ll begin to see a difference. But whatever you do, don’t tell yourself its impossible, because it isn’t.

You can GET WAISTED if you want to.

Let’s do this. corset

Continue reading “What’s happened to my waist?! Time to sort yer waist out – let’s Get Waisted”

Hands up if you’re over 45 and are having the best sex EVER? And hands up if you’re not (but you wouldn’t mind…)

Hands up if you’re over 45 and are having the best sex EVER? And hands up if you’re not (but you wouldn’t mind…) here’s how

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One of the best things about becoming older, is that fabulous confidence/lack of care as to what anyone thinks. By now, you know what you like in the bedroom. You know what you don’t like, and you love what you do like.

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It’s a known fact that women our age do seriously enjoy sex. We’ve lost our inhibitions that we may have had in our earlies, we’ve maybe worked out a few fave moves and we are less worried about what we’re doing wrong or what we are doing right. 

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So why aren’t we simply just doing it? 

Because we can’t find the right person to do it with.

Or maybe you’ve given up even thinking about it, as it’s either been unattainable, or so unenjoyable that you’re simply not interested. And that department is now closed. But you do still fancy some companionship.

Don’t worry you are not the only one.

So if you want sex with no strings; or sex with some strings; or just some strings and no sex, you need to let someone know. You need to find him, or he needs to be able to find you.

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Mandatory Credit: Photo by ITV / Rex USA ( 666175AR ) Helen Mirren in ‘Prime Suspect VII’ – 2006 ITV Archive

The thought of internet dating freaks loads of people out. Its time to get over that. Its okay. Its just the way it is these days; if you can’t beat it, join it. It’s easier to date now than it ever has been. There are so many sites that for them to be successful, they have to make them really quite niche, which should (in theory) make it easier for you to find what you’re looking for.

Who are you? And what do you want?

If you’re over 45, then you’re classified as mature (regardless of how childish you are).

“Mature Dating” sounds so very grown-up, sensible and safe: but is it though? Obviously there are always going to be the less than wholesome blokes lurking around in any given place, so be smart about where you meet up and don’t give out your address until you feel secure enough to. But that doesn’t mean its anymore dangerous than simply walking out your front door. And of course, there are some good guys too. The same has to be said for us women, some of us are fab and some of us can be pretty scary. No one is perfect, so don’t seek perfection, it’ll end in tears. But do be realistic, don’t lie about your age, don’t upload an overly retouched photo of yourself, and don’t be shy.

Get date-ready and get out there.

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So if you’re looking for companionship, that may well lead onto the best sex of your life (there’s always hope), or if you’re just looking for straight forward companionship then rather than looking on sites that have every testosterone-fuelled 24-40 year old on there, look on sites that are closer to home and closer to what you want. Here’s where ‘Mature Dating‘ can and does help.

Don’t shy away from sites that are trying to tell you in their domain names EXACTLY what you can expect, even if they do sound a little dull or dour.

Try one of these: Older dating Cornwall Dating Agency Aberdeen Dating Agency Edinburgh Dating Agency Cardiff Dating Agency

Or if you just want to have sex and nothing else, (not even a conversation), then you can go to Adult dating

Another great (and FREE) site for anyone ready to get out there and have some companionship…and maybe more, is We love dates

The rules: be safe, be yourself, be honest and DON’T talk about your past relationship. Its boring. Move on. Enjoy girls!

Rule number 5: What the pluck? Just grow a pair!

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pretty hairy

So Mother Nature designed us to look our best at about the age of 21…coincidentally when we’re our most fertile. By the time we’re approaching/in our menopause, Mrs M Nature is fervently doing her best to strip us of anything remaining that might be attractive. Already blessing us with wrinkles and crinkles, she then goes that step further and begins to rob us of our brows and lashes. Thanks.

Or were you (like me) a right little plucker, once upon a tweezer?

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Back then, I didn’t give a pluck

Either way, if you over-plucked or not, you’re undoubtedly now noticing that those brows and lashes are sadly mere fading follicles.

But do not despair, there’s help out there. A bold and bushy brow, does a lot to liven up the face; as do youthful-looking luscious lashes and if there’s any trace of a follicle (even if it’s really blonde, fine and seemingly pointless) you can help them get back to some of their former glory.

Just as we condition the hair on our heads, we should be conditioning those lashes and brows. Yes there are false lashes out there and for special ocassions, why not? Fake brows…erm…not so sure…and there’s only so much coloring in you can do.

So we need to make the most of what we’ve got naturally and that means investing a little more than we did in our earlies.

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there’s nothing like having natural lashes n brows

Over a decade ago, the wife of an ophthalmologist suffered major loss of hair from her brows and lashes due to the serious medication she was on. The ophthalmologist created a serum for her, which worked so well, the brand Revitalash was born.

I noticed my lashes were a lot less lush a few years ago; I discovered Revitalash and  have been using both the lash and brow conditioner ever since. Not only have the grown back much fuller and thicker than I ever imagined they could, but they’re also darker. As these two particular conditioners encourage the pigment too. And we all love a strong pigment, right??

It’s easy to use, one sweep with the wand across clean, dry lashes once a day and its the same with the brows. Either at night time or in the morning – I find it mildly irritating at night and have a tendency to rub my eyes, so I do mine in the morning. Be patient and persevere with the products; you won’t see any difference for a good two to three weeks and then boom…you’ll suddenly see the difference, its like they’ve come from no where…but you must be consistent and use the products every day/night.

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got me some lashes n brows

Since Revitalash came into the world of beauty, there have been many (maybe not quite so good) imitations of this product, that you can buy almost anywhere.

The Cheap Alternative

If you can’t afford any of these, then even putting simple vaseline on your eyebrows at night will help keep them nice and healthy. However you can’t put vaseline on your eyelashes…but you can put on castor oil…

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read more about using castor oil here

One of things that sets Revitalash apart from the rest is the hygiene one gets from the specially designed ingredients within the serum, so if you’re using castor oil, be sure to refresh your mascara wand regularly, if not daily. I personally would use it on the lashes first, then the brows and then bin it. You can buy cheap disposable mascara wands in bulk here

If you do go for the castor oil alternative, look for ‘cold pressed’ hexane free, castor oil here

So girls, if you’re feeling a bit brow beaten or ‘what the pluck’ and short n stubby in the lash department, try helping them out with any of the conditioning recommendations above and you’ll be pleasantly surprised. You may even be able to freaking flutter again….

Bette Davis Eyes