Hands up if you’re over 45 and are having the best sex EVER? And hands up if you’re not (but you wouldn’t mind…)

Hands up if you’re over 45 and are having the best sex EVER? And hands up if you’re not (but you wouldn’t mind…) here’s how

Advertisements

Womens-Hands-Raised

One of the best things about becoming older, is that fabulous confidence/lack of care as to what anyone thinks. By now, you know what you like in the bedroom. You know what you don’t like, and you love what you do like.

carmelladelaforce

It’s a known fact that women our age do seriously enjoy sex. We’ve lost our inhibitions that we may have had in our earlies, we’ve maybe worked out a few fave moves and we are less worried about what we’re doing wrong or what we are doing right. 

highheels

So why aren’t we simply just doing it? 

Because we can’t find the right person to do it with.

Or maybe you’ve given up even thinking about it, as it’s either been unattainable, or so unenjoyable that you’re simply not interested. And that department is now closed. But you do still fancy some companionship.

Don’t worry you are not the only one.

So if you want sex with no strings; or sex with some strings; or just some strings and no sex, you need to let someone know. You need to find him, or he needs to be able to find you.

helenmirrensexy
Mandatory Credit: Photo by ITV / Rex USA ( 666175AR ) Helen Mirren in ‘Prime Suspect VII’ – 2006 ITV Archive

The thought of internet dating freaks loads of people out. Its time to get over that. Its okay. Its just the way it is these days; if you can’t beat it, join it. It’s easier to date now than it ever has been. There are so many sites that for them to be successful, they have to make them really quite niche, which should (in theory) make it easier for you to find what you’re looking for.

Who are you? And what do you want?

If you’re over 45, then you’re classified as mature (regardless of how childish you are).

“Mature Dating” sounds so very grown-up, sensible and safe: but is it though? Obviously there are always going to be the less than wholesome blokes lurking around in any given place, so be smart about where you meet up and don’t give out your address until you feel secure enough to. But that doesn’t mean its anymore dangerous than simply walking out your front door. And of course, there are some good guys too. The same has to be said for us women, some of us are fab and some of us can be pretty scary. No one is perfect, so don’t seek perfection, it’ll end in tears. But do be realistic, don’t lie about your age, don’t upload an overly retouched photo of yourself, and don’t be shy.

Get date-ready and get out there.

mirrenmakeup

So if you’re looking for companionship, that may well lead onto the best sex of your life (there’s always hope), or if you’re just looking for straight forward companionship then rather than looking on sites that have every testosterone-fuelled 24-40 year old on there, look on sites that are closer to home and closer to what you want. Here’s where ‘Mature Dating‘ can and does help.

Don’t shy away from sites that are trying to tell you in their domain names EXACTLY what you can expect, even if they do sound a little dull or dour.

Try one of these: Older dating Cornwall Dating Agency Aberdeen Dating Agency Edinburgh Dating Agency Cardiff Dating Agency

Or if you just want to have sex and nothing else, (not even a conversation), then you can go to Adult dating

Another great (and FREE) site for anyone ready to get out there and have some companionship…and maybe more, is We love dates

The rules: be safe, be yourself, be honest and DON’T talk about your past relationship. Its boring. Move on. Enjoy girls!

Rule number 3: Find your sexy (yes, it’s up to you)

It starts with the undies, just because no one can see them doesn’t mean they’re not important, your bottoms shouldn’t be on the bottom of the list, and keep your tits at the top. Flirt with yourself first, and ditch those awful knicks.

Love your undies, cause that’s where it all starts. When did you last buy yourself a new  crossover, or underwired; triangle, balconette, halterneck, backless, strapless, Queen size, king-size; push-up, or squash-down; T-back, or light n lacy; comfy but sassy bra? And matching knickers? Briefs? G-string? Spanks? Pants? Anything?

WELL, WHY THE HECK NOT?

Modelling bras, (whilst telling myself ‘it’s just like wearing a bikini on a beach’), for a shoot for The Daily Mail…oddly.. all about bras…

 

Finding the right bra

So girls. Rule number 3: find your sexy.

It starts with the undies, just because no one can see them doesn’t mean they’re not important, your bottoms shouldn’t be on the bottom of the list, and keep your tits at the top. Flirt with yourself first, and ditch those awful knicks.

I don’t care if you’re happily single, unhappily married or vice versa; unhappy with your entire image, or all right with some bits of your body – YOUR BODY, the one you’ve had for ages now, the one that’s been with you through thick and thin – you’ve gotta love it. This body of yours is not going anywhere, so you’d better start fully appreciating ALL of it from now on in. Don’t “hate my feet” or “despise my tummy” or insult your tits, “they’re just empty tea-bags,” “pendulous and baggy”; or any other part of you, “my arse is keeping my ankles warm”, “the dimples on my knees have dimples”,”I have no neck”, “I’m just so scrawny” etc.

STOP IT. 

ENOUGH.

Your imperfections are what make you perfect. So love all of them, despite size, shape – lumpy and bumpy; skinny or bony; whatever non-conformist or haphazardly put together person you feel you are, you gotta love it

 

bless this mess
Happy with who I am

BLESS THIS MESS T-Shirt

You’re unique and wonderful, no mater how far along the spectrum you feel you’re away from the standard ‘expected’ sizes and assets, I think you are beautiful. Most of you reading this are over 45, you’ve therefore been here long enough to recognise that this is it. This is what you’ve got. There’s no point in hating it; or hating any little, bad or big, bits of it.

(I know & love that there are many of you out there who are already fully loving and appreciating your bodies for what they are: this isn’t really an article for you).

But for those of us who may have lost a bit of lust with ourselves…well, we need to rediscover and

find our sexy.

I’m not saying this in order for you to attract another – that may well be a by-product – but it all starts with you. The nurturing ‘my sexy’ is an easy thing to forget to do, especially as we get older, while we watch bits of our bodies slide towards the ground and other bits flourish outwards at a seemingly unstoppable rate.

No! Us fabulous 50s (& beyond) have all the more reason to make a proper conscientious effort to go buy some underwear that we love and feel fantastic in. You’re never too old to do this. When I make the effort (& it is indeed an effort) to wear lovely matching bra and knickers, I feel extra good.

I know my liddle secret.

Be in control with style control wear

It doesn’t matter if no one ever knows that on any particular day, I wore a stunning bra n’ knicks, because I got all the benefit myself. I do obviously appreciate that if I got run over… well, you know….same goes for hot date/non-private fitting rooms/wedding night/fire alarm drill at the gym etc.

But brilliant bras aren’t cheap. I HATE how much the really lovely ones cost. How dare they? For that tiny amount of triangle and elastic? Seriously? It’s the tailoring, I tell myself. Its the fit. Its the harmonious symphony of breast meeting brassiere. The prices are quite painful…but it’s okay, I say, buying yourself a beautiful bra tells you that you are worth it, every penny – which you absolutely are. I bought a few gorgeous bras and knicks, from the @ellemacpherson range, they still make me feel a million dollars, every time I wear them….but….shit, that was over 6 years ago now…..I need to take my own advice here…think I’ve def had my money’s worth now…time to refresh…

Elle gets it right….check this little puppy out, imagine wearing this bra whilst you’re walking around Sainsbury’s, your supermarket shopping would be so much more fun, just quietly inwardly knowing what you were wearing underneath….sooooo gorgeous beautiful bra

Another fabulous range is Intimissimi – lovely and reasonably affordable range…

But equally going to your nearest Primark or New Look and getting yourself a few new cheaper undies does the trick just as well – the result just doesn’t last as long (maybe one wash….5 if you’re lucky LOL) – but you still get a result. You know that you’ve got new underwear on and, oh boy, does that feel luxurious! Or am I the only one that doesn’t buy new underwear very often?? Oh lord….

I totally understand that this ‘loving your body’ biz, is no easy feat to achieve. After all, most of us, have spent a lifetime habitually hating at least one thing about ourselves. Yes, my hands could be a lot prettier; my skin a lot clearer, my waist a touch tauter etc etc, but they’re not, and they never will be what I see as perfect.

Accept what you have. What if I lost my hand in an accident? How much would I love it then? As a child, did you ever think to yourself, “what if I died? Then they’d be sorry!“? I have to admit, I’ve cried at my own imagined funeral a few times. Pathetic, I know. But true. Finally grew out of that one when I was about 16, thank god…although I admit, I’ve got my funeral music planned…so the funeral thoughts have never really totally gone away… I digress. Forget what others may think at your funeral! Think about how you feel now. If you’re feeling hot and gorgeous inside, then no one can take that away from you. Others may well also get the benefit of super sexy you, but YOU will get it the most.

So come on girls….I see you baby, shaking that arse…

 

Rule number 2: Cleanse. It sounds so boring, but its both essential and great.

HANDS UP IF YOU GO TO BED WITHOUT TAKING YOUR MAKE UP OFF?

6987-makeupremover

STOP IT NOW, IF YOU WANT GREAT SKIN, YOU GOTTA CLEANSE!

…..and I mean EVERY NIGHT, even if you’re a little bit tipsy, JUST DO IT!

Now you’re older, whether you’re 38 or 87, or anything in between, its time. Its TIME  to really take care of this cleansing routine. In fact great cleansing is imperative to get into your life regardless of age, so those of you in your ‘earlies’ get into a routine now and you’ll reap the benefits forever more.

bare faced
bare to face

However, for those who’ve been on the planet a while; not only have you undoubtedly acquired many ‘things’ such as old books, inherited artifacts, children (maybe); miss-matching towels; speeding fines; debt, a crap vacuum cleaner etc but you’ve also more than likely gained some worrying wrinkles; perhaps a smattering of pesky pigmentation; some screaming scars; open pores, flaky, dry patchy skin or just ruddy rosacea; whatever misdemeanors that now sully your once glowing, perky, vibrant, peachy skin can, in fact, be helped. A lot. Just by great cleansing.

So this is a two-pronged attack. I want to encourage you all to have a clear out; with everything – permanent complaints, excess clothing, dead skin cells, temperamental bowels, bulging cupboards, clutter, useless men: the lot.

EXFOLIATION IS KEY

Just as you wouldn’t wear the same pair of knickers for months on end, nor should you wear those skin cells. When we’re in our ‘earlies’ our skin naturally replenishes itself at an astonishing speed. By the time we’re 30, our skin has got less efficient and the dead cells are replaced more slowly. By the time we’re 40, its even slower. Once we’re 50 and beyond…well we need to get the big guns out to drag off those determined old cells that cling like glue to our faces and bodies, hanging on for as long as they possibly can in order to facilitate deeper, darker wrinkles; bigger, badder, more rotund pores and dull dull OH SO DULL skin.

NO THANK YOU. 

Here are some of my favorite products that REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

Liquidgold_awardALPHAH.001

Buy Alpha H Liquid Gold here

Alpha H Liquid Gold is genius. First brand ever to recognize that exfoliation is key. Wipe this over cleansed (Alpha H Balancing Cleanser is FANTASTIC for ALL skin types) skin at night and you’ll feel a tingle – this is your skin being woken up, sent into the gym, as Liquid Gold forces your PH levels to rebalance. Do not moisturize. No need, Just go to bed and let the magic work. While you’re sleeping the AHA’s slowly munch away at your dead skin cells, revealing a fresh, hydrated face in the morning. Do use sun screen the following day. This product is brilliant for ALL SKIN COMPLAINTS.

As far as cleansing goes, this Flora Mare 4eversonic is a Great hygienic facial tool

4EVERSONICDIAMARE

If you don’t like the idea of an AHA exfoliator then a physical one can work just as well. I recommend the Flora Mare 4eversonic, in my opinion its better than any sonic brushes out there. Partly because bacteria can fester in brushes, no matter how frequently you clean or change the heads, but also because the 4eversonic is a joy to use, leaving your skin feeling like glass. For the older skin I highly recommend the Diamare range from Flora Mare, pictured above is their beautiful creamy cleanser, which again leaves the skin thoroughly clean and smooth.

 

ITS NOT ALL ABOUT THE FACE: YOU GOTTA BODY SCRUB TOO

I’m currently testing a couple of different body scrubs, so have none to recommend at the moment – but even if you just get a pair of exfoliating mitts and some body wash, add a little salt and olive oil and your skin will feel amazing.

BUT GOING BACK TO CLEANSING ALL OVER….

No one likes a mess. Not really. Some people say they don’t mind living in a mess, but I don’t believe them. It hurts your head. Its annoying not being able to find stuff. Cleansing your life is as beneficial as cleansing your skin. Have a clear out. Its incredible what it does for the soul. Your junk could be someone else’s…junk, or maybe they would have a use for it…either way, get rid. Don’t hang on to stuff that is just taking space. Head space. Space space. Every time you buy a new piece of clothing, make it a rule to either give a piece away or throw a piece away. Sort through that clutter on the side, it won’t take long and it will no longer irritate you slightly every time you see it. Likewise with friends – if they’re not bringing it, then drop them. Yeah that sounds mean,  but seriously, if you have certain friends who only ever have negative things to say about you and your life…..the dump ’em. Have a cabinet re-shuffle and nuture the good ones.

So please girls, you’ve got one skin, make the most of it. Treat it right and you’ll get rewards. Of course, skin health is not just about cleansing, its also down to stress, pollution, sun damage, sleep deprivation, smoking, drinking and men. Yes, men. If he’s dragging you down, putting you down, or never going down….there’s just one thing for it….you gotta….

wash that man right outta yer hair